


As I See You

by Dreadful Weather Today (TearoomSaloon)



Series: A List of Love, Loss, and Desperation [4]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Lists, idk what the fuck to tag this it's a list of words and little snippets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-06-27
Packaged: 2018-02-06 11:25:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1856344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TearoomSaloon/pseuds/Dreadful%20Weather%20Today
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emotions were...a hassle. They were human, and this one particular one continued to manifest in different ways. Ever present, ever raw, ever chaining. If he had to be caged by someone, he wouldn't mind so much if it were her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As I See You

**Author's Note:**

> This is my 30th work on Ao3 wow how did that happen? (I'm going to sit here and laugh because I've written over 67,000 words for this ship and scattered it all over my tumblr so haha, there's way more than what's here).

**Eros**  - passionate physical and emotional love

It was simple. Soft, like a summer breeze. It was warm and calming and it felt as though he’d piled blankets on his bed and slowly curled under the covers, consumed and surrounded. Her smile was charming, to say the least, and her eyes were bright when she spoke to him. It happened in such a rush, he was unaware it was even manifesting at first. 

Their hands brushed and it was all over.

Her touch was all he needed that night, as a comfort for the coming days. A comfort for now, a comfort for then. He hadn’t felt this rush in years, hadn’t felt affection—pure, whole affection in such an innocent form—in what felt like a lifetime. She was…remarkable.

And he was disgusted that he’d succumb to such a human emotion, that he’d become a slave to something so trivial. But, of all the fair maidens in the land, she was the most beautiful, and he was captivated.

He  _loved_  her, he realized, listening to the words spill from his mouth like his body was not his own, words of all origins with one central meaning. He realized while listening to his own soft tones of affection and growls of  _mine mine mine_. Best of all, though, he listened to the breathy song she sang for him, her desperate call underneath his shoulders. She was, and forever would be, his, and for that, he loved her more. _  
_

**Ludus**  - love played for sport

He liked to play a game every year. Less of a game for the other participants—he always won—and more of a conquest. Which beautiful student could he get to fall to their knees for him? Who would beg? Who would profess some sort of attraction without realizing he’d initiated the entire game?

And then there was her.

Reserved, sharp, cuttingly intelligent Alana. Confident enough to show up in baggy sweaters and sleepless raccoon eyes without exuding anything less than a strange, constant attractiveness. She stole hearts and ate them just as he, only with less cooking and less cleanup. By the end of the term, she’d beaten his score and sufficiently rubbed it in his face.

He was impressed by her ability, and a little aroused.

 

 **Storge**  - an affectionate love that develops off a friendship

It was a long time coming, he decided, when she rested her head on his shoulder. A long time coming with only something so freak to push them over that now-tiny ledge. She carefully held one of his battered wrists in her hands and started to cry.

"I thought I was going to lose you." She wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. "I thought I was going to lose you and I couldn’t stop thinking about how that was the worst thing in the world."

"It would be a pity, but it wouldn’t be the  _worst_ —”

"It would. In my world, it would." She raised her head to kiss his cheek in an attempt to get him to understand (he did). "I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep easy, knowing you’re bandaged and bruised and stitched up."

"Would you feel better sleeping beside me?"

"I would, but that would be incredibly non-platonic."

"It isn’t meant to be platonic." He turned his head so slightly, pressing his lips to hers. "This has been a long time coming."

 

 **Pagma**  - a love coming from the head, not the heart

"I think it would be practical for us to be in a relationship," he told her one morning, brewing coffee to wash the scent of sex from his nose.

"If you want to make a business deal, I want the pros and cons."

"The pros are we won’t have to sneak around with our interactions, if we decide to pursue a more stable relationship format it won’t come as a surprise to anyone, our intimacy won’t be questioned, and you will have security in me."

"As in you’ll cover me if I screw up?"

"Something like that."

"And the cons are being tied down, coming to a potentially messy end, and the possibility of  _feelings_.”

"If we avoid the last, there will be no chance of the second."

"Neither of us has quite avoided the last, wouldn’t you agree?"

With a kiss on the cheek, he presented her a mug. “Unfortunately, yes.”

 

 **Mania**  - obsessive love

He had a love of seeing her under him, seeing the way her body moved in accordance with his. He loved touching her, tasting her, hearing her. There was something so tantalizing about this affair, though whether it was because they were having an affair or because she was like a narcotic, he had no idea.

She trapped him like Hades, and even though he knew better, he ate of her fruit and sealed his fate. He took the offered pomegranate and willfully doomed himself to her, to committing himself to her. He’d kill to keep her safe, and come to think of it, he probably already had.

 

 **Agape**  - selfless love

Consuming, that was the feeling. The feeling of drowning deep into a dense redness that engulfed him on all sides. He didn’t mind the drowning, not while he felt so secure.

He gave her everything. He gave her more than he thought he could—more than he thought he had. He had never felt an emotion like this before her, before her eyes and her smile and her love. It trickled like hot wax on his skin, pleasantly burning him for a moment before sinking into a feeling of warmth. If he could catch the moon, he’d craft it into silver to present to her.

No matter what she asked, he would provide. He would provide all and nothing, whatever she needed. He was both man and beast, but if she asked, he could be just one for her. He could be just a sad lonely prince on the edges of his black realm, or he could be the happiest sovereign for miles beside a woman who was his crown jewel.

She made him feel human, and for that, he would give her his burnt heart for nothing in return.


End file.
